The endless glam of being a writer just took another hit; seems that the Quill Awards are history. Ah, well, it was nice while it lasted, wasn't it? Maybe they'll create something to replace it that recognizes the achievements of the working writer, such as:
The Marquis de Sade Statue: for most rejections endured in a one-year period
The Oliver Twist Trophy: for smallest advance check received by a full-time writer.
The Helen Keller Cross: for maintaining membership in a writer organization for more than one year.
The Phoenix Ribbon: for continuing to write after being dumped by a publisher.
The Maalox Plaque: for continuing to write after being dumped by an agent.
The Silver Trash Can: for throwing away up to 20 manuscript pages of lousy writing.
The Golden Valium: for throwing away up to 100 manuscript pages of lousy writing.
The Diamond Therapist's Couch: for throwing away an entire lousy manuscript of 101 pages or more.
The PBW Medal of Honor: for burning all copies, disk and manuscript, of the Book of Your Heart manuscript, in your backyard, and resisting the urge to sift through the ashes or ask your friend Lisa if she still has those chapters from it you asked her to read last February.
If you could create an award for working writers, what would you call it, and who would qualify?